Have you ever been frustrated with your kids, or a situation with your kids, so you ask other mom's how they handle it? But then get even more frustrated when you try the same things, or have already tried those things, and still get no where!
It's even worse when you have a child with special needs. Because you know that your child should be able to do these things...if they were "normal." The question of "is my child capable of doing this," taking into account whatever issues they have. It can be extremely frustrating!
For instance, Ethan is 11. When my daughter was 11, she could help me load an unload the dishwasher; she could pick up toys around the house; the could help a little with laundry; she could do basic cleaning - clean the table, clean the windows, clean the counters, etc. But Ethan, (who does have an alphabet soup of diagnoses) cannot. Well, to be fair, I think he CAN...he just doesn't want to. So how many allowances are right to give him...still trying to make him independent, but yet, being understanding about his sensitivities.
Some of my mom friends say that they don't let their kids play after school until their homework and chores are done. Some of them tell me they give their kids 1 hr. to play when they get home, then they have to do their homework and chores. Some tell me they take things away (like video games) unless their kids get their homework and chores done everyday. My answer, "Yeah, that hasn't worked so well at my house."
I started a chore board, listing out chores I wanted them to do and allowing them the choice of one or two. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Homework is supposed to be done as soon as they get home...but frequently, I hear "but I'm starving, I need a snack!" or "this is too hard, I can't do it!" So, in the end, I'm frustrated, they are frustrated and nothing has been done!
I'm convinced this is why mom's used to do everything at home...never expecting a child to lift a finger!
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